Life has been hard for me the last few months. Things really are good but life is just hard sometimes. My job is soooo rewarding. But let's be honest it can be soooo hard. And lately it has been a labor of love. Teaching students with disabilities means that I deal with A LOT of behavior. The good news? After several particularly intense weeks to say the least, our school psychologist told me that it doesn't get much worse than "that", ever. Oh and you don't want to know what "that" means. He then went on to say "and you are smiling today"... I was and I was thankful for that. And then the best part, he said "You will be an awesome Mom. You experience more here in your classroom than you will likely ever experience with your own kids." That made me feel pretty good. It's funny he said that because although I do not have children YET, I have compared my feelings for my students with what it might be like to be a parent. My students will do things that absolutely freak me out for a minute, but I find the strength to be calm, collected and cool (well I try to it doesn't always happen). And you would think I want to send them-a-packin' (and I want to sometimes) but really at the end of the day, I just want to hug them and help them learn and grow and fit in. I'm assuming that's what it's kind of like when you are a parent. Everyday is a labor of love, I think I get that. I'll just have to wait and see. I love my kiddos (well they are teenagers really). And I love my job, even on the hard days.
I spent about an hour this afternoon after school, reading the NieNie Dialogues. It was just what I needed. And now I feel inspired, grateful and blessed. That woman, her family, her story and her outlook on life just amaze me. If you are having a hard day or a hard life in general, spend a few hours and read through her posts. It was just what I needed today. And now I feel hopeful, happy, blessed, grateful, energetic, content. Life is good, all is well.
P.S.
I just finished my second master's class. I'm rocking a 4.0 right now... lets see if I can keep it up. And I'm about to have a heavenly 2 week break from teaching and a few weeks before my next class starts. Just what the doctor ordered!
Love to all!
3 comments:
Tashi, I understand completely what you mean. It truely is something you have to do with an open heart. Compassion, love, and God make up for where we fall short. It seems as though the holidays are always the hardest for them...who knows why really.
Any who, I am so proud of you and think you are amazing. Just think, by the time you and I have little babes we will be super prepared:) Love you...more than words.
Meg
Wow, Tash. Good for you. I'm amazed. If you ever want to take a break from Utah (and head out east, perhaps??)..come see me!
Tashi, sweet thoughtful girl, I don't know anyone who could do your job as well as you do. You WILL be an awesome mom. You know you have my heart.
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